With Stupid Time Machine’s popular sketch review “Love in the Time of Swine Flu” returning this Friday (March 5th at 8:30pm), we decided to open the old mailbag and answer some questions about the show. Let’s get started.
Dear Stupid Time Machine, Will I catch Swine Flu at your show?
Theresa from Dallas, TX
Theresa, no, you will not catch swine flu. The title of the show is just a reflection of the time that we live in. That’s a pretty silly question. I’m not a doctor, but I believe you can only catch swine flu by having unprotected sex with pigs. And just because you buy a ticket, it does not mean that you can have pig on woman sex at our show. There are a lot of risks with such a situation in a crowded theater, not the least of which is many people discovering that they have always been secretly attracted to animals. My Uncle Dave was really into that stuff. His ex-wife was a goat and he would always bring her to family functions. The family never cared for her because my Uncle acted differently and we all knew she was behind it. “I hate you and your fucking goat wife”, my mother would yell before breaking a beer bottle on the kitchen counter to stab someone with. Wait…I don’t have an Uncle Dave. Who was that guy?
Dear Stupid Time Machine, I hear that your show is about love. Will I fall in love after watching your show?
Tiffany from Hollywood, FL
Tiffany, I would like to tell you that you will not fall in love. However, the truth is, there have been 95 pregnancies from our audience members since we first ran the show in November. We are really proud of all of these babies. All of them except for Sherman. Sherman is a dick! He’s always crying and sleeping. He even shits himself! The guy actually shits himself! Can you believe that? My baby will never be like that jerk baby Sherman. My kid will be a masculine boy who oozes both sex appeal and future human intelligence. And he won’t shit himself like you, Sherman!
Is it hard to write sketch comedy?
Mitchell from Des Moines, IA
Mitchell, it is unbelievably hard to write sketch comedy. You have to be pretty sharp to come up with quality sketches. Think about it. Have you ever seen a NASA sketch show? I don’t think so. You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to come up with something better than a commercial involving a talking monkey advertising a penis pump. WE WROTE THAT! You cannot steal it! So, Mitchell, if you are thinking of starting a sketch group, I advise you to think again. You can’t beat our great ideas and there is no point in trying. Just come to the shows and let us make you laugh. Besides, if you steal the monkey penis pump sketch, get your suit pressed and ready to go to court. My cousin Steve is a pretty good attorney when he isn’t doing air conditioning repair. You’ve been warned.
With all that being said, come see the show that was featured in the 2009 New Orleans Fringe Festival, 2010 New Orleans Comedy Arts Festival, and toured Texas at the Dallas Comedy House and Austin’s New Movement Theater. Whether you are someone who has seen the show, only heard about it, or one of the many who was turned away from the sold out shows, we welcome you to see “Love in the Time of Swine Flu” one last time before we retire it. Only one word of advice: If you want a ticket, get there early. This Friday at 8:30 and Saturday at 9. The show will run next weekend as well. Tickets are $8. La Nuit Theater 5039 Freret St. New Orleans, LA